My first post on this personal blog

Hello everyone

First of all, I want to tell yall why I start creating this blog; It is to pour whatever what I felt that day, week, months, or maybe even years if I manage to keep writing. I tend to hide my true feelings just because I don't to hurt the other person or when I deem it impossible to do so because whatever I said not gonna change the situation or even make it worse. But most of all, what discourage me the most from saying it is because it fall on dear ears.

Second, I always wanted to create something. When I was younger (like 20 years ago, maybe?) I dabble a lot with Paint. Yes the basic Paint software that you can find in any PC/Laptop with Microsoft OS. I just draw some random shit from my head or try to draw whatever I see interesting. Of course, when I was introduced to Photoshop and Premiere Pro, I jumped straight up playing with them on my free time after school editing some random stuff. Mostly just recolor from a manga panel that I like and thought "Damn, this panel so damn cool I wanna give some color in it". I only started learning to edit videos on Premiere Pro when I was in High School because I never have a good PC back then. Heck, even at that time my PC still sucks but I just tried to make some weird ass videos. But the interest grew when I stumble upon Anime AMV (Anime Music Video) where the greats creates gorgeous and crazy video using anime clips and synced music. Yall know THE GOAT Baka Oppai YouTube Channel? I hope he comes back and post some more. Sadly tho, I gave up on pursuing these editing interest. Idk why, maybe I was not interested enough or maybe didn't try hard enough to learn more about it? Cuz I knew if only I pursue this interest I would bank now.

Last but not least, connected to the previous one, I just want to create something. I'm sick and tired of myself just CONSUMING every single thing on Internet. Why do I keep consuming these videos after videos on YouTube and I can't stop it? Why do I watch this 1 hour essay video about some video game character that I don't care about yet I sat down, crunch some snacks, and watch the entire thing. Or following some Internet drama between YouTubers or any influencers that I don't care about or doesn't affect my daily life anyway? Or for better or worse, why watching all these memes and brainrots reels (I don't use TikTok. It fucking SUCKS) is so satisfying that I can just keep doomscrolling for hours and hours?????? Hence, my reasoning of starting this blog again.

Some of you may know me IRL, some maybe just stranger that somehow and someway found this blog. Don't worry, I will use aliases for anyone involved in my stories (except for me, of course). But if you think the story is not good enough or you don't like the way I present it, I will ommit the name. Or even the story itself. I don't know, I have no idea where I'm gonna go from here. I just wanna create some shit. Anyway, terima kasih sudah membaca postingan ini. じゃ、またね！